We may not be great at solving our own problems, but we can certainly solve yours! Welcome back to Date Guru, where you send in your emails, and we make sense of it all.
I like this guy, and he’s great, but he’s a smoker and I’m not. I can’t stand the smell, nor the taste of it when he kisses me. I’ve tried to ask him to quit, but he says it’s too hard. Is it stupid to end my relationship over such a little thing?
You know they put cancer warnings on cigarette packets now. It’s the law. Every cigarette packet must carry a label saying that smoking causes cancer. It’s horrible, and yet, the number of people smoking isn’t getting any fewer. As a smoker myself, I sympathise with your boyfriend. It’s really, really hard to quit. And yet, I believe that every smoker secretly wants to quit, if given enough of a reason. Your relationship is great, you’ve said so, and so, faced with the choice of losing you or losing the cigarettes, I think it would be a pretty easy decision to make. On the other hand, you have to make it a bit easy on him. Remember withdrawal symptoms include grumpiness and the desire to overeat. A lot of former smokers get really fat immediately after they’ve quit. It’s perfectly okay for you to tell him to quit, if he wants to keep being with you, but also, make allowances. Carry around gum in your bag, so he has something to chew on. Be patient if he gets snarky. Above all, don’t judge. It’s an addiction, and sometimes there are relapses. Let him know you are there for him, but only if he’s willing to give quitting a shot. You’ll both have longer, healthier futures, hopefully together.
How much can you believe in star signs? I’m a Sagittarius and my girlfriend is a Cancerian. According to the zodiac, there’s no way our relationship can work out, but I love her. I don’t want to get hurt in the end though, so I’m not sure if I should put my faith in the stars or just let whatever happens happen.
Ah, the zodiac. Linda Goodman was my guru when I was a teenager, and I sneakily do check the horoscope section of the paper every weekend. But you know what? I pretty much always forget what the stars have foretold by the middle of the week, if that. Let’s look at this statistically. Do you really think you share your personality with 1/12th of the human race? I know I and my grandmother are the same star sign, and yet we operate completely differently. I’m not going to tell you it’s a bunch of hokum, if that’s what you believe in, but there are many things to believe in, and you can’t rely on them all to provide you with a way of life. Hang on to your Cancerian girlfriend, maybe she has a moon in Gemini, which as far as I know, is very compatible with Sagittarius.
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