Date Guru Volume II

Hello again, poppets. Welcome to the second volume of Date Guru, where I attempt to be your internet BFF and answer all your most pressing problems.

I am gay but I cant seem to tell my parents or family. I have a boyfriend now and he doesn’t understand why I cannot be honest with my mother and father. I feel I will lose them…please advise…

Well, you may lose them. It’s true. Parents, sometimes, in their love for us and their desire to want everything that is wonderful and good for their offspring don’t consider that their kids (ie you) might want something a little different from them. But, are you willing to keep living a lie for the rest of your life? Chances are, they’ll be really angry at you for a while, but then, because they love you, they’ll get over it. And maybe you and your boyfriend will even be able to sit down and have a meal with your family. And you’ll think, “Wow, imagine if I hadn’t told them. All this may not have been mine.” So, the first thing I would do, is figure out a place for me to stay. This is important, because you want to give them some time on their own to process the information you’ve just thrown at them. Then sit them down and say gently, GENTLY, this will be a shock: “Mom, Dad, I like boys. I don’t mean to disappoint you, but this is the way I have felt for a while.” Maybe you’ll be lucky and they’ll accept you immediately. It’s worth the risk, either way.

I am thinking that my father is actually gay. How to confirm?

Wow, this is a tough one. You haven’t given me any reason to assume your father is gay, so I’m just going to go ahead and pretend that you have had your suspicions for a while. First, your father deserves your sympathy and support. There are so many gay men forced into traditional marriages and they don’t know what to do about it and wind up unhappy for the rest of their lives. Second, since this is somewhat of a touchy subject, I’d suggest not taking the bull by the horns, so to speak, but instead leading the conversation round to homosexuality and see what his reactions are. Let him know that you are there for him, that you are still his son, despite everything, and that you, basically, have his back. It’s a personal decision though, the “coming out”, and you can’t force it.

Okay, those are our questions for this week. Drop us a comment if you need your questions answered, and I’ll see you guys on the other side!